Monday, April 25, 2011

Lady Gaga reveals her insecurities with a flood of tears during HBO documentary

Lady Gaga reveals her insecurities with a flood of tears during HBO documentary

 

Lady Gaga often appears to be the epitome of confidence with her assortment of outrageous, 'barely there' outfits and amazing live performances in front of sell-out crowds.

But the pop superstar showed a softer side and let her insecurities come to the surface during a revealing clip from a forthcoming HBO documentary about her US Monster Ball tour. 

The 25-year-old singer is filmed in black and white in her dressing room, where she breaks down in tears while talking about her fame and her fans, whom she calls her Little Monsters.

Tears of torment: Lady Gaga breaks down as she discusses her responsibility to her loyal fans, or Little Monsters as she calls them

Tears of torment: Lady Gaga breaks down as she discusses her responsibility to her loyal fans, or Little Monsters as she calls them

In the preview Gaga, real name Stefani Germanotta, is seen preparing for a show at Madison Square Garden in New York.

She explains how she felt wound up on her way to the show and the responsibility she feels for her loyal army of fans.

Gaga says: 'I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I'm a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be.

Distraught: The singer battles to contain herself as she continues to speak to the camera during the forthcoming documentary

Distraught: The singer battles to contain herself as she continues to speak to the camera during the forthcoming documentary

 

'But sometimes I still feel like people are trying to destroy me. I cannot be destroyed, I will not be destroyed and you will never destroy the kingdom that is my fans.'

The footage was shot during Gaga's Monster Ball tour in the States.

As she mentions the show as one of her 'benchmarks', it's likely to have been shot before her debut at Madison Square Gardens in her native New York on July 6 last year.

She continues to talk about her fans, with tears in her eyes: 'I'm fighting for every kid that's like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel.

'It hurts when I know how much authenticity and how much genuine blood is in my spirit and how much I feel like people don't know that... 'cos they see wigs and lipstick and they shut down, 'cos they don't understand.

Bullying: Gaga explains that she still sometimes feels like a 'loser kid at high school' despite her international fame

Bullying: Gaga explains that she still sometimes feels like a 'loser kid at high school' despite her international fame

'I just wanna be a queen for them and sometimes I don't feel like one. It's not about being a winner for me any more. It's about being a winner for all of them.'

She then bows her head in prayer, asking God for courage before she hits the stage in New York.

Gaga says: 'Please give me strength to be a winner for all of them and not myself... Please help me to be strong and know my own strength. Please help me to be brave, Lord. Dear God, give me courage. Do not let me give in to my own insecurities.'

Dear God: The Born This Way singer finishes up with a prayer asking for courage before her Madison Square Gardens show

Dear God: The Born This Way singer finishes up with a prayer asking for courage before her Madison Square Gardens show

Only last month Gaga revealed that the bullying she endured as a schoolgirl will never leave her.

In an interview with Google, she said: 'I say this with so much genuineness in my heart: Bullying stays with you your whole life: I was never the winner, I was always the loser, and that still stays with me.'

Gaga revealed that those same school bullies now ask her for tickets to her shows but she's never tempted to get her own back.

Lady Gaga
Controversial: The singer's outrageous performances and dress sense are almost like a mask for her insecurities

Controversial: The singer's outrageous performances and dress sense are almost like a mask for her insecurities

'There's been lots of concert ticket requests. I think one of the most awkward things anyone ever said to me was, "Well, my, my, how the tables have turned."

'To be honest, I don't have that kind of vengeful spirit and I never did.'

Gaga previously admitted that she was teased at school for looking frumpy.

She told Cosmopolitan magazine: 'School bullies called me fat and laughed at my appearance.

'I had a very big nose, very curly brown hair and I was overweight. I got made fun of.'

She also told The Independent that she had to suppress her creativity during high school because she was being bullied.

'Right now the only thing that I am concerned with in my life is being an artist … I had to suppress it for so many years in high school because I was made fun of but now I'm completely insulated in my box of insanity and I can do whatever I like.'

 

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